A writer’s faith that the blank
page will yield; a sculptor’s faith that she will find form inside of wood or
marble, a painter’s faith in line and brush. Lev’s faith that the world will
give.
My friend, Sue, has had a strong
reaction to my blog post, A Bump in the Road. In a word, she is angry. She
isn’t alone. Many of my friends are angry, not with me, with my son. Sitting on
tall chairs inside the Stonewall Kitchen café, eating salads, Sue and I have talked
about our families and our work, pleasant conversation. Now, Sue says, “I have
to ask you. Why did you let your son off the hook? I don’t want to say anything
bad about him—he’s your son—but what an opportunity this could have been for
you and your grand daughter.”
My
Bat Mitzvah. My grand daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, the two of us working together.
Sue touches her heart. “I kvell when I think about it.”
Ah that Yiddish word: joy beyond
joy.
But,
Sue does not know my family, our past rifts and hard feelings. So many divisive
moments. I didn’t want another one. Yet, I do want to become a Bat Mitzvah, a
daughter of the commandments, a woman who commits herself to a Jewish way of
life. I assure Sue I’m not giving up, but I need to find something that will
give my projects and my exploration of values closure. I confess, “Sue, with all
that I’m doing. I feel as if it’s not enough. Something’s missing. I’m sure Lev
would have figured it out.”
Fork mid air. Sue tilts her head, pausing
before she speaks. “You need the Jewish piece. The more traditional piece. One
of the nicest Bat Mitzvahs I did….
Did she say? Did I hear? I don’t
let her finish. “You do Bat Mitzvahs?”
Why didn’t I know that? Sue is a
Jewish singer, songwriter, musician. A Jewish educator. Often she collaborates
with Rabbi Lev. Of course, she does Bat Mitzvahs. Would she? Could she?
“Nothing would give me greater pleasure,” Sue says.
And it is as if Rabbi Lev is here
at our table, giving us his sideways glance. He has the most mischievous grin.
And he has faith that if you get our of your own way and make room in your
heart for possibility, possibility has room to breeze in.
Visit Sue's website: Modern Jewish Music http://www.suehorowitz.com
So what will your compromise now be Sandell? How will you not offend your son and still have what you want of the day, a different day is possible now perhaps? If that is the case I hope your son will have the grace to attend with trumpets blowing for you. xx Hugs
ReplyDeleteNo, compromise, David. I'm going second. I've avoided birthdays. I've chosen October 5th as my day. Hopefully, all of my family will be with me-- and friends. All who want to come.
ReplyDelete