I
meet Lev at a sushi restaurant in Malden to talk about my Bat Mitzvah—our last meeting
before he will leave for Austin. He looks tired, slow around his eyes. He is
applying for nursing jobs, coming off of clinical training which means he’s
been up at four every morning. And he’s been teaching—classes in Judaism. And as
always, he’s been keeping up with his wide network of friends and colleagues.
I
tell Lev I’ve identified my ten Jewish values, values I want to pass on to my
grandchildren. Here they are in no particular order: Jewish identity,
integrity, honesty, compassion, Tzedakah, forgiveness, love of life, love of
learning, awareness, and family stories, what Nina, my granddaughter calls, “dead
people’s gossip.” Gotta love it. And just when I thought I’d finished my task, another
value surfaced: humility.
In
a religious context, humility is easy. One is humbled in the face of God. But
that’s not the kind of humility I’m talking about. I’m talking about teaching
humility to a generation fixed on devices, smart phones, iPods, tablets. They
take pictures of the food they eat, of their faces, sending these images out
over the internet, gathering likes. Their Me is large, a blinding white spot in
front of their eyes. And so you say that adolescence has always been a time of
self-centeredness. And I will say, yes, but, not like today when kids are
hardly forced to interact with a larger world. And so I asked Lev: how do I
make humility cool? Can I make humility cool?
“Interesting,”
Lev said.
Humility and humiliate share a root, and I understand the negative
connotation of the word. Humiliation is shadowed by self-effacement, timidity,
submissiveness. Yet, humility is positive value, one that opens a person to
possibility. One who is humble is self-aware. She keeps her place in this
world. And she can correct herself. The opposite of humility is arrogance,
pride and self-importance, traits that harden like a shell. There is a softness
to humility, a way of leaving space for others. Perhaps, we pass on the value
of being humble, by humbling ourselves, visiting the sick, helping those less
fortunate, as once again, doing and being become our best teachers.
Outside the restaurant, Lev offers to walk me to my car. I decline. We
embrace, do not say good bye. Most people would not describe Lev as humble. I would. Always, he
leaves me inspired to do more than I think I can, and he gives me space.
